The following is a story reprinted from
October 24, 2011
Don't tell Pat and John Matchulat they're in the "twilight" of their life because they're too busy living—enjoying their family, spending time with friends, playing bridge and golf, and most of all, just being together. "We're as healthy as any and more healthy than most," says John, 92. "We have a lot of friends and our calendar is always full," adds Pat, 86. The couple, both widowed before marrying more than twenty years ago, love traveling and taking cruises, but quit several years ago when they realized there was "nowhere left to go." Their home in Belle Meade is filled with treasures they brought back from their world travels. One day soon, they agree, they'll slow down long enough to go through the "millions of slides" of all the places they've visited.
As busy as they are, however, Pat and John each devote considerable time to learning about people and organizations in need of their time and philanthropic support. "Anyone who has extra money and who doesn't take on helping causes is not a well-rounded person," Pat believes. "There are a lot of people who are bad off and need help," John explains. "So many places around here are doing wonderful work but are having a difficult time."
Pat and John are both long-time supporters of Moore Regional Hospital as members of the Foundation of FirstHealth's Scroll Society and Legacy Circle. "We are fortunate to have Pat and John as our friends and honored to have Pat as one of our most generous donors," says Kathy Stockham, President of the Foundation. "We can never thank her enough for the investment she has made in FirstHealth through her annual and memorial gifts, and charitable gift annuities. The impact of Pat's generosity on the health care provided by FirstHealth to those in our community will be unending. And for that we are forever grateful."
To live is to choose, but to choose well,
You must know who you are
and what you stand for.
Pat is a descendent of the Armstrong Clan, a long-line of Scots who emigrated in the early 1600s and established the plantation-based economy of America's Deep South. Gilnockie Plantation, where she was born, was a large and prosperous cotton farm in the fertile heart of the Mississippi Delta which Pat's father inherited from his father. It was located near the railroad town of Leland, MS, named in 1884 for Pat's grandmother, LeLa McCutcheon.
For Pat, an only child, Gilnockie became a world unto itself. "Mother ran the house, but she didn't do anything herself; she never cooked a meal," Pat remembers. "I admit I was pampered. I considered it normal." Her father's cotton business survived the boll weevil infestation in the 1920s, but the devastating flood of 1927, followed by years of the Great Depression brought suffering and hard times all around. So in 1937, 12-year-old Pat and her mother moved to Kansas City, Missouri, to live with Pat's maternal grandmother and a whole new life began.
Although her grandmother lived a comfortable life, Pat wasn't exempt from having to do chores. "I had to make my own bed and help around the house," she recalls. "I will always be grateful to my grandmother for taking the time to teach me practical things I never had to do before, like how to sew which I still love to do to this day." She also taught Pat about investing and helped her become financially astute. "When I was 14, my grandmother gave me stocks and bonds as presents, and together we'd discuss annual reports. It was from her that I learned to save rather than to spend. 'If you're practical,' she told me, 'you'll never be broke.' She had the most influence on me of anyone in my life. She turned me into a thinking, practical person."
When Pat was a 19-year-old junior at the University of Kansas in 1944, she married fellow student Joseph Stryker, 22. While he was fighting overseas in World War II, Pat left college and took a job as a receptionist for a law firm in Kansas City. When he returned, they both finished college, and Joe went on to get a law degree. In 1949, he became a corporate attorney for Cities Service Company (CitCo), an international oil and gas company, and the couple moved to Summit, N.J., where they raised their two children.
In 1977, Joe retired at age 55, and the couple moved to the house they had built on the lake in Whispering Pines. "It seemed like a nice place to settle down in our retirement," Pat says. "The original little red hospital building of Moore Regional Hospital in Pinehurst reminded us of the hospital in Summit."
Seven years later, in November 1984, Joe passed away. At age 59, Pat, who had also lost her parents and both her children, was alone for the first time in her life. "I felt God had abandoned me," she says. But she was determined to get on with her life and live up to the Armstrong Clan motto,"We Remain Unvanquished."She continued to play bridge and golf, and to travel extensively—something her grandmother had encouraged from the time Pat was a girl. "I did a lot of 'off the beat' stuff and went to places you don't bother to go," Pat recalls, "hot air ballooning for a week, playing golf in Iceland and Greenland." She kept busy, but it was "pretty lonesome."
During this difficult transition, Pat treasured her friendship with John and Margaret Matchulat, Pat's neighbors who had moved to Whispering Pines from East Aurora, NY, in 1984. After Margaret passed away in 1988, a mutual neighbor encouraged Pat and John to spend time together. Although they came from very different backgrounds, friends told them they were good together. "We had a commonality," John says. "It was a nice advantage to have known each other's spouses," Pat agreed. Soon, their friendship deepened into love, and in 1990, the couple married.
The bond that links your true family
is not one of blood,
But of respect and joy in each other's life
.
John Matchulat was born in Ebenezer, a small town near Buffalo, NY, in January 1919. His family was not well-off; even so, during the early years of the Depression, John learned the importance of reaching out and helping others in need. As a boy he delivered food to neighbors who had little money and fewer resources. "My mother always insisted I go at night," John recalls, "so people wouldn't see what we were doing. It was important that they be allowed their dignity."
In 1936, John was set to go to college on a sports scholarship, but just days before he was to graduate, he got hurt and was told he would have to sit out for a year. The country was still deep in the Depression, but John, 17, had to find a job. With the help of his coach, he applied at Electro Abrasives Corporation in Buffalo. "When I got there," John says, "I discovered the minimum age requirement was 18, but I told the truth on my application even though it meant I would be out of luck. The Vice President who interviewed me knew how old I was and later told me he wouldn't have hired me if I had lied."
When the time came for John to begin college, the company asked him to agree to stay on if they paid for him to go to night school. He took them up on their offer. "I stayed with that company for 46 years, all my working life," John says, "until I retired as Vice President in 1983."
Now you are two persons,
But there is only one life before you.
Now there is no loneliness.
Since marrying John, one of Pat's greatest joys is having a family to love again. "She is the star of the group," John says of Pat when his two children, six grandchildren and eight great-grandchildren all get together. "They love her. They think she's the greatest thing that walked down the street. When they call, I might as well leave the room. They just want to talk to her."
"My grandmother was the most important person in the world to me and I want to be the same for my grandchildren," Pat says. "She helped me learn to be a wise investor and to understand what has true and lasting value. I want to pass those lessons on.
"I have a legacy to leave and I want my family to understand what is important to me. I value the Foundation of FirstHealth and its mission to care for people. As stewards of my philanthropic legacy, I trust their astute professionalism in managing the charitable contributions and gift annuities that I have entrusted to them, and that long after I'm gone, they will continue to make them grow to help care for future generations. I want my grandchildren and great-grandchildren to know that with these gifts; I am making a difference now and forever in the future .
"And one day, when they discover what is important to them, they will have learned that they can make a real and lasting difference, too."
Though no longer with us, Pat and John left a legacy of impact on our community through active giving and planned giving. For more information on planned giving opportunities such as Charitable Gift Annuities through The Foundation of FirstHealth, please call our office at (910) 695-7500.
